Character

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A character is any person whose choices, desires, fears, relationships and experiences give a story its human dimension. In fiction, writers create characters from imagination and shape them to serve the story, but in personal storytelling, the characters are real people. By definition, in first-person storytelling the storyteller is the main character, but personal stories often have a cast of supporting characters.

That doesn’t mean a complete biography of everyone who appears in your story, but rather those key individuals who are involved in the story’s plot. Characters give meaning to the story by way of what they say, how they act – and react – what they desire, and what they fear. A well-crafted character add richness, and meaning, as well as complexity to the story.

In personal storytelling, character is also affected by time-based perspective, as your understanding of another person often changes over time. Someone you once saw in a negative light may look quite different to you years later. Sharing how characters change over time is a common element of the story arc.

While people can sometimes be portrayed as heroes or villains, people are usually more complicated than that. Your goal is to help the audience understand the role that person played in your experience – whether positive or negative. Factors such as providing specific details, relating spoken dialogue, and offering your honest observations allow the audience to form their own impression.

One of the most revealing questions you can ask while shaping a personal story is: What did my behavior reveal about me then that I can see more clearly now? The audience wants to know how the storyteller changed over time. The answer can turn a simple account of what happened into a story about how you were shaped by what happened.

Examples

“My father never said he was proud of me. At least, that is how I remembered it for most of my adult life. Then, while cleaning out his desk after he died, I found a folder filled with newspaper clippings about every small accomplishment I had forgotten I’d ever told him about. He had saved them all. I still wish he had said the words, but the folder changed the character I had assigned to him in my own story.”

“When our startup ran out of money, Maya was the first person to suggest that we tell the team the truth. I wanted another week to figure things out. She looked at me across the conference table and said, ‘They deserve to know what we know.’ That sentence told me more about her than all the late nights we had spent working together. She cared about the people in the room more than she cared about protecting the company.”

“For years I described my older brother as fearless. Looking back, I realize he was terrified of disappointing everyone. He volunteered for every difficult job, always said yes, and rarely admitted when he was struggling. I admired his confidence until I recognized the pattern in myself. We were both using competence as a way of hiding fear – his version was just easier for me to see.”

“My manager had a reputation for being difficult. I expected our first one-on-one to be brutal. Instead, she spent twenty minutes asking why I had stopped speaking up in meetings. I told her I was worried about being wrong. She said, ‘You will be wrong sometimes. Your job isn’t to avoid that. Your job is to contribute anyway.’ I went into the meeting prepared to defend myself and left with advice I still use today.”

“I thought I was the patient one in our marriage. Then, during a long drive with our two young children arguing in the back seat, I heard myself snapping at everyone. My wife didn’t lecture me. She simply reached over and turned down the radio. That small gesture made me realize how much patience I had been expecting from everyone else while giving myself permission to have none.”