Mark Lovett

The Superpower of Comic Con – Natalie Kaczorowski at TEDxSanDiego 2016

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Comic Con is like a multi-day thrill ride, more carnival than convention, packed with eccentric attire, celebrities, and all things pop-culture. For years, onlookers have viewed these masters of the geek universe with a sense of confusion and comic relief.

That’s about to change, as Natalie Kaczorowski, aka Comic Connie, looks behind the mask of Comic Con to explain the hype, the craziness, and the exceptional superpower of Comic Con. Strap in for the thrill-ride of your life, as things are about to get nerdy.

“We are who we choose to be. So choose.”

Back in the day, when I was the organizer of TEDxSanDiego, I would start lining up speakers 6 months ahead of time. The theme for 2016 was The Age of Magic. One aspect of this theme addressed the incredible technology that was being developed and deployed around the world in ways that could change society.

But another way to look at this theme was through the lens of human identity and the human imagination. That got me thinking about Comic-Con, the world-famous conference held annually in San Diego. And as luck would have it, I knew someone who approached the yearly convention with an unbridled passion.

The brilliance in Natalie’s talk comes from her ability to weave her personal story of finding her identity and her tribe to the broader story of how everyone is just playing a role in life, whether they recognize it or not.

Notice how she captures the audience’s attention and has them laughing — first by referring to the superhero outfit she’s wearing on stage, and seconds later, to the outfit she’s wearing in a photo taken at Comic Con.

When I was a kid, I always had a flair for the dramatic. Turns out I had a condition called being an insufferable pain in the ass.

She then takes us from the woman she is on stage that day, to the young girl she was growing up and the central topic of how we all struggle to find our identity. In her case, that journey was through the world of comic book heroes.

Comic-Con is really an invitation to celebrate self-expression.

And when she introduces the topic of cosplay, it’s an opportunity to connect to the audience on the topic of self-expression, and thus, personal identity.

I want to live in a world where we don’t have to have an identity struggle or change or hide our appearance to hide from who we really want to be.

As you follow Natalie’s journey of self-expression, connecting with her tribe, and becoming her most invincible self, reflect upon your own path and the struggles you’ve had to simply be yourself.

If you’re in the process of writing a personal story of your own, note how Natalie blends various story blocks in order to create a narrative tapestry that’s founded in her own experiences, but reaches out the audience with a universal message.

Transcript

I wish I could wear this every day.
No, I meant this.
That’s me, by the way.

Sounds like a funny request, but this photo actually reminds me of this photo. Which is also me. Now, I know the first thing that comes to mind when you see this photo is, obviously, future TEDx speaker. But if you look deeper, you’ll see there’s a similarity between these two photos.

This is me at my most amazing. And this is me at my most invincible. And in both photos, I am my most fearless. I didn’t realize that until I experienced the superpower of Comic-Con for the first time.

Society doesn’t tell us that we can dress in superhero costumes in everyday life. We need to get a real job, get a real degree, start a real family. We are supposed to be normal. We struggle, though, with identity our entire lives. It’s a common theme in superhero stories, too. Peter Parker struggles with the fact that he’s Spider-Man. Clark Kent changes his appearance to hide the fact that he’s Superman. Bruce Wayne doesn’t feel free until he becomes Batman.

When I was a kid, I always had a flair for the dramatic. Turns out I had a condition called being an insufferable pain in the ass. I wasn’t raised by my real parents, so I imagined my journey through life in the context of Superman. I always felt like the world was on the verge of ending, so I felt like a vampire slayer. All that drama actually made things more clear. It was good versus evil, right and wrong, black and white. With great power comes great responsibility.

Somewhere along the line, I quit looking at the world that way. We reach an age where we stop believing that we’re capable of saving the world or in magical lands where anything is possible. Which is why Comic-Con is such an enigma. I get it. Not everyone understands Comic-Con. First of all, you don’t simply just go there! It’s really hard to get tickets! Tickets to Comic-Con aren’t really bought so much as you win the privilege of paying for a ticket.

During open registration, badges sell out in less than an hour in the most stressful, indigestion-inducing process in history. Ask anyone that’s been through this, it’s the joy of being selected for Hogwarts matched with the sheer terror of surviving the Hunger Games.

I get asked all the time, why go through all that trouble? Or more commonly, you pay so much money and get dressed up and sit in some theater to watch a bunch of people talk. It’s gonna come out on YouTube. I mean, you guys get it, right? So annoying. Let it sink in.

Truth is, millions of people try to go to Comic-Con. It has something for everyone. It ranges from well-known comics and mainstream movies and television, to also include video games, anime, science, technology, everything in between. It’s the one place where the line to the men’s room can consist of Reed Richards, Han Solo, Captain Picard, someone cosplaying astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, and the actual Neil deGrasse Tyson.

You might have heard that term cosplay before. It’s a big part of Comic-Con. Cosplay is the art of dressing up. And like any classic art, it revolves around self-expression. Celebrities even dress up to go to Comic-Con for the same reason everyone else does: because you can be whoever you want to be. Even if you just want to dress and blend in with the Stormtroopers.

Comic-Con is really an invitation to celebrate self-expression. I’m going to tell you an origin story about how my two identities became one. Natalie grew up in a small town. She didn’t win any high school awards. But if there was a trophy for most contributed screencaps of the Dharma logos on the Lost Wikipedia page, she would have won it. She found a small tribe of people that would put up with her crazy teen antics, even embrace her for it. She thought that familial bond she had was isolated to her hometown until she went to Comic-Con.

Now, here’s a place full of hundreds of thousands of people that not only got it, but celebrated it. It’s a utopia, a hub of energy, full of lights and sounds and culture. Comic-Con is like a parade, Mardi Gras, and Times Square, all at the same time. It’s Nerd Mecca. Of course I’d want to live there. I mean, she, she would want to live there.

So, Natalie moved to San Diego. And every year when Comic-Con came to town, it was like homecoming. But on the last day of Comic-Con, she gets this sinking feeling in her chest. She felt worse after Comic-Con. She didn’t know why. She did all the normal things: got a job, got a degree, gotten married. Something was missing that compelled her to change. So she began to dismantle all of the beautiful things she had, one by one, until she had none of those things.

A friend of ours came up with an idea about how to best utilize her talents. We called it Comic-Con-nie. All that was needed was a camera, her passion for Comic-Con, and to act like a super nerd. Oh, and she had to wear the costume. That changed everything. Wearing that costume, playing that part, it allowed her to unlock her passion for talking to people about the characters and the stories that excited her.

And when she ran out of different costumes to wear, she started wearing nerdy t-shirts, even off-camera. And then something amazing happened. People from diverse backgrounds would recognize those symbols. They’d strike up conversations she never saw coming. Sometimes it’s, “I love your shirt!”

Seeing that symbol gives them this freedom in identifying that we are members of the same tribe. That was my radioactive spider bite. That’s when who I was trying to be and who I was afraid of being finally came together. That’s when I realized, this is who I’m supposed to be. Comic-Con connects individuals with their tribe. But fandom is the connection that the tribe has with characters which represent an ideal that we admire.

It could come in the form of power, like Superman’s abilities. Iron Man’s financial strength. Sherlock Holmes’ superior intellect. Or maybe, maybe we just need courage. Like Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, or Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, who in the face of insurmountable odds still have the courage to fight. And the best part? People are lining up to speak with Charles Xavier.

I understand there’s a lot of pushback with this idea of dressing up in large groups. For some reason, people find it strange to wear Vulcan ears to match your Starfleet uniform. But when you spend over $300 on an authentic jersey and paint your face in your team’s colors, I have news for you. You are a nerd! Nerd! We do this, though, for love of the story. It’s united humans together for thousands of years.

Maybe it’s a group of people sitting in an auditorium or watching online randomly chosen members of society tell their stories. You can nerd out about anything. I’ve stood in line overnight to watch a panel for a TV show called Supernatural. Thank you. In 2016, Supernatural broke a record by entering its 12th season. I’m not still watching to see which of the two main characters is going to get punched in the face by a ghost this week. I stand in line to meet other fans. The show speaks to us because it teaches us that home isn’t necessarily where you came from. Family doesn’t end with blood. We are stronger together than we are apart.

Comic-Con is a ritual that celebrates this transformation. For four days out of the year, you can be whoever you want to be instead of who you’re supposed to be. Define yourself. That’s the superpower of Comic-Con. Comic-Con was the catalyst for my own transformation. Natalie and Comic-Con-nie have merged into me. To become my most amazing, my most invincible. And they’ve led me to this stage so I can become my most fearless.

I want to live in a world where we don’t have to have an identity struggle or change or hide our appearance to hide from who we really want to be. What if being a superhero in everyday life was normal? You dress for the job you want. And dressing the part and playing the part means being the part. Then the real question is, who are you cosplaying as this year?

We are who we choose to be. So choose.

Thank you.

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Mark Lovett

The Importance of Resonance and Relevance in Storytelling

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Welcome to 2023! The past few years have been quite an adventure. And what a story, or for most of us, a series of stories. But that tends to be the nature of life. Stories unfold. Sometimes with our direction, but often without our permission. Which would explain why so many people have recently told me that 2023 is the year they want to tell a personal story, one that can impact others, but they just don’t know where to start.

New Year's Day 2023, time to tell your story!

The first question that many of them ask me is: “What makes a talk memorable?” It’s not the easiest question to answer, as there are so many factors to consider when crafting and delivering a personal story. And while speaking skills are an important element, they are not the most important factors when it comes to impacting audiences. Begin your exploration here: Resonance and Relevance. Address these two words up front, in the Ideation phase.

Will the audience be interested in my topic,
and will they find my message useful?

People will listen to stories that capture their attention, when it’s a subject they want to hear about. First step is to ask yourself, “Why will the audience care?”

Don’t just think about the answer. Write it down. Make a list. That means you’ll need to know your audience. And if you’re telling your story to more than one group: general audience vs. scientists vs. academics vs. students, the answers will vary. And that’s okay. It’s a great way to discover new audiences.

Pull up a chair, it's time to tell your story!

Once you’re satisfied that your story will resonate with your audience, and you have shifted from the Ideation to the Narration phase, the body of your story needs to be relevant. Ask yourself, “What will the audience think, feel and do after they hear your story?” Each of your Story Blocks should be selected and written to accomplish your intended goals.

Will they feel inspired, have you added to their knowledge, shifted perceptions, challenged a preconceived notion, given them a new way to see themselves or the world around them? In short, is your narrative relevant to their life? What can they take away from your story that will help them going forward?

I do hope that all of you who have an impactful story to share do exactly that in 2023. Maybe it’s a keynote speech, or a talk on a TEDx stage, or maybe it’s for a local community group or at a breakfast meeting. Don’t worry about the size of the audience, as touching a single person is valuable. You never know how the impact will ripple out and touch others.

So if you have a personal story to tell, and need a bit of guidance along the way, send me a message and we’ll set up a complementary call to discuss your needs. I’ve coached hundreds of storytellers, from scientists to engineers, students and academics, creatives and business leaders, special forces and prison inmates.

Know that your story is important, and that it can change the world!

Hitting the bullseye for storytelling with impact

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Mark Lovett

On Writing (Your Story) Well – Part Two

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When telling true stories, people often assume it’s simply a matter of repeating the truth. That’s the best place to begin, as facts are the foundation of personal storytelling, but maximizing the impact of your story comes down to the words, sentences, and paragraphs that comprise all narratives. It’s the writing process which turns truth into story.

Professional writers know this, spending the majority of their time editing what they’ve written. Word choice. Sentence structure. Narrative arc. Writers devote their career to mastering the art of telling stories that matter. For most of us it tends to be a different story.

We learned to write at a very early age, but once we entered the school system the focus was on grammar, which is a necessary component of the writing task, but unfortunately, there was scant guidance when it came to using that proper grammar to tell personal stories. We leave school and begin our career lacking the storytelling skills that can positively effect every aspect of our future.

I was blessed early on in my career when a colleague handed me a new copy of On Writing Well by William Zinsser. That was decades ago, and I’ve since owned a number of copies along the way. I’ve read it many times, refer to it often, and I’m still learning. If telling personal stories is something you aspire to, and want to maximize the impact of your stories, I recommend you pick up a copy.

On Writing Well by William Zinsser Book Cover

The book covers a lot of territory, and in the previous post I covered Part One. With this second installment I highlight key points from Part Two of the book.

From Part II on Unity

As for what point you want to make, every successful piece of nonfiction should leave the reader with one provocative thought
that he or she didn’t have before.

Storytelling with Impact is often about shifting perspectives – altering the way in which a listener or reader views a particular subject, how they view themselves, how they view others, or how they view the world – sometimes all four. Most of us are on a journey of self discovery, as well as self improvement, which entails growth, which results in altering our viewpoints. We seek new information from many sources, one of which involves hearing stories from / about other people.

To achieve the goal of making an impact I ask storytellers to describe how their audience thinks and feels about that idea or experience that forms the basis of their story. I then ask them to describe how that audience might think and feel about the subject after they’ve heard their story. It’s not just a verbal exercise. To truly understand the provocative thought that William Zinsser mentions it’s important to write down your before and after thoughts. Give the exercise it’s due. Understanding the power of your story is key to writing a powerful story.

The Narrative Journey

Trust your material if it’s taking you into terrain you didn’t intend to enter but where the vibrations are good.

Your story’s narrative will, hopefully, take an audience on a journey from your opening line to your closing line in a seamless fashion. And with a clear intent (see previous section) you map out your route by way of identifying the most relevant story blocks and order them properly. But stories can have a way of shapeshifting; pulling you in directions that were not on your planned route. Sometimes you’ll need to pull hard on the reins to get back on track. But to William’s point, you also need to pay attention to how the diversion feels.

Writing is simultaneously a process of crafting a narrative, while at the same time, rediscovering that narrative. As you write, new ideas, experiences, and pathways arise. Distractions should be discarded, but discoveries should be examined. And yes, you may find yourself on a fun diversion, only to realize you’re not going in the right direction, so you’ll have to backtrack an refocus. Stay true to your destination, and yet embrace the chaos that often arises.

From Part II on The Lead and the Ending

You should give as much thought to choosing your last sentence as you did to your first. Well, almost as much.

Every story opens with a (few) sentence(s), and will close with a (few) sentence(s). In my view, “few” equates to 3 or less. In both cases the message must be clear, at first to provide an initial hook for the story, and to conclude, something memorable. Both are vital bookends to your narrative, but I’ll agree with William’s viewpoint that the opening carries a bit more literary weight as you need to capture the interest of the audience in order for them to still be paying attention when it’s time the closing.

That said, focus on crafting a compelling narrative first. Remember the mention about shapeshifting? Initial drafts of your opening and closing may stay intact, but more often than not, you will discover better versions during the writing / editing / rehearsing process. Polish the ends once the story’s narrative is solid.

From Part II on Bits & Pieces

The longer I work at the craft of writing, the more I realize that there’s nothing more interesting than the truth.

I am often asked whether a story can ‘stretch the truth’, or if the storyteller can ’embellish’ their narrative. My answer is always the same. If your intent is to tell a true story, then stick to the truth. My reasoning is that if you’re caught in a lie, or the audience can tell that you’re adding fiction to your story, then everything you say is in doubt. These tactics can work well when you’re telling tall tales at the dinner table, but not when you’re on stage trying to reach an audience with a real story.

What I like about William’s quote is that the truth is actually more interesting. It requires additional work to find a storyline that is more interesting, which is to say, it’s often easier to lie than it is to tell the truth. In many cases, storytellers incorporate a lie (or embellishment) in order to avoid dealing with the truth. While it’s tempting, don’t do it. Find the most impactful truth, and write your story accordingly.

Reflection

These are four pearls from On Writing Well that I’m still (after many years) trying to master. Every time I write something (I think is) wonderful, I wake up the next day, reread my prose and become convinced that someone broke into my home in the middle of the night and changed what I wrote the previous day. I couldn’t have written something so bad, but I did. In those moments of despair I’m glad that the wisdom of William Zinsser is close at hand.

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On Writing (Your Story) Well – Part One

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When telling true stories, people often assume it’s simply a matter of repeating the truth. That’s the best place to begin, as facts are the foundation of personal storytelling, but maximizing the impact of your story comes down to the words, sentences, and paragraphs that comprise all narratives. It’s the writing process which turns truth into story.

Professional writers know this, spending the majority of their time editing what they’ve written. Word choice. Sentence structure. Narrative arc. Writers devote their career to mastering the art of telling stories that matter. For most of us it tends to be a different story.

We learned to write at a very early age, but once we entered the school system the focus was on grammar, which is a necessary component of the writing task, but unfortunately, there was scant guidance when it came to using that proper grammar to tell personal stories. We leave school and begin our career lacking the storytelling skills that can positively effect every aspect of our future.

I was blessed early on in my career when a colleague handed me a new copy of On Writing Well by William Zinsser. That was decades ago, and I’ve since owned a number of copies along the way. I’ve read it many times, refer to it often, and I’m still learning. If telling personal stories is something you aspire to, and want to maximize the impact of your stories, I recommend you pick up a copy.

On Writing Well by William Zinsser Book Cover

The book covers a lot of territory, more than can be covered one post, so in this first installment I will highlight some key points revealed in Part One of the book.

From Part I on Principles

Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident. Very few sentences come out right the first time, or even the third time. Remember this in moments of despair. If you find that writing
is hard, it’s because it is hard.

Some storytellers that I work with know this day one, most don’t, but they soon discover this reality as we get to revision 4, 5, 6, 7. It’s easy to write. Just pick up a pen, or let your fingers dance across a keyboard. Words do come out, but the first words we write rarely convey the true meaning of our story. The words we need have a way of hiding off the page. Sneaky bastards.

Our first drafts sit on the surface. A basic outline is there. The bones, if you will. And that’s fine, as every structure needs a frame. But it takes focused effort to dig deeper into a story while at the same time polishing a narrative that shifts. Writing and editing. Listening and editing. Rehearsing and editing. Hard work.

The Power of (any) Language

It’s a question of using the English language in a way that will
achieve the greatest clarity and strength.

I always stress the importance of maximizing impact when I help someone craft their narrative, but I like William’s word choice here: achieve the greatest clarity and strength. When a point is not clear the reader or listener may get confused and disconnect from the narrative. Strength comes from not hedging your bets. Say what you mean and be direct. That doesn’t mean overdoing it for dramatic effect. Strength comes from authenticity, not theatrics.

Narratives Under the Microscope

Reexamine each sentence you put on paper. Is every word doing new work? Can any thought be expressed with more economy? Is anything pompous or pretentious or faddish? Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it’s beautiful?

This is the tedious part, and the step that many writers and speakers cut short. The process involves writing, then reading what you wrote and fixing the most obvious problems. Repeat the cycle until the issues found move from major to minor. Don’t shoot for perfection; that won’t happen at this stage. It’s time for adding audio to the sequence.

Recite the story out loud using your natural voice, as though you were telling it to someone. You will find a whole new basket of problems to correct. Listen for sentences that are too long, words with too many syllables or too complex, and clichés that should be axed. Edit, edit & edit. Then use a smartphone to record your story and play it back. Now your brain isn’t spending any energy trying to speak and you can concentrate on what you’re hearing.

Are the sentences concise? Does it sound like you? We tend to write in a more formal fashion than we speak, using words more difficult than those we would naturally say. If you stumble over words or phrases, see if you can find easier, simpler replacements. The easier it is to say, the easier it is to hear.

What to Include

Never say anything in writing that you wouldn’t comfortably say in conversation.

It’s common for storytellers to ask how much they should reveal, how far they should go in exposing the essence of their personal story, and knowing where the line is can be difficult to determine. I often advise, “Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say at the dinner table.” I like both views, but there are exceptions.

In any case, you must consider your audience as you edit. In our digital world written articles, podcasts and videos get global distribution, or at a minimum, global access. You want your message to be heard, and be as meaningful as possible, but it’s also possible to alienate your audience with details that are considered too shocking or graphic.

In the end you must make that call. One way to approach the topic is to write your story out in full, saying as much as you feel comfortable sharing publicly. Then rehearse your story in front of trusted friends or family – if your story is written, have them read it. Ask whether it felt as if you were holding back and playing it safe, or if it’s a case of TMI (too much information).

Reflection

These are four pearls from On Writing Well that I’m still (after many years) trying to master. Every time I write something (I think is) wonderful, I wake up the next day, reread my prose and become convinced that someone broke into my home in the middle of the night and changed what I wrote the previous day. I couldn’t have written something so bad, but I did. In those moments of despair I’m glad that the wisdom of William Zinsser is close at hand.

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Mark Lovett

Pixar Storytelling – It Starts With An Idea

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If you haven’t seen a Pixar animated movie, I’ll assume you have been living on a (nearly) deserted island. Their first feature film was Toy Story, released some 25 years ago. After 22 films, $14 billion in box office revenue, and an acquisition by Disney, they’re still creating films that touch our heart and change the way we think about the world.

You can read more about the fascinating history of Pixar, but in short, they are master storytellers. And while it’s doubtful that your personal story will end up in a Pixar movie, the process they use to create their films can teach us a lot about the craft of storytelling – characters, plot, emotion, wisdom, life.

It all begins with an idea.

It’s the first thing I ask someone who says they have a story to tell. What’s the idea, or the point, or the message that is driving your story. If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you going to get there?

Luckily, the creation of your story is not as complex as the Pixar process – no need to hire any simulation technical artists – but a takeaway from this welcome video is the need for revision / editing along the way. Nothing comes out perfect the first time. It’s an iterative endeavour that enriches your story, bit by bit.

The power of story is that it has an ability to connect with people on an emotional level.

Even when creating a fictional story, the writer needs to put an element of themselves into the narrative as a way to convey how they’re feeling. The same holds true in your story. It’s not just a sequence of events. That’s rather boring. The audience needs to know how the experience felt to you.

Check in next week for another glimpse into the world of Pixar storytelling!

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