Using Story for Persuading, Influencing, or Most Importantly, for Understanding

If you spend time, as I do, reading about the art and practice of storytelling you will often come across reference to the notion of persuading or influencing as the objective of crafting and presenting the story that you have in mind. I hear this from other speaker coaches, as well as renowned public speakers, and it’s not wrong, but it’s never been the way I see things.

Having watched a few thousand talks, and worked with a few hundred speakers, the stories which impacted me the most were the ones that informed me, expanded my knowledge, or brought forward a new way of looking at an important issue, not those trying to convince me that their way of thinking was better than mine.

Persuading
Causing someone to do something, or believe something, through reasoning or argument

Influencing
Having an effect on someone with the desire to change their behaviors, beliefs, or opinions

Understanding
The ability to comprehend based on knowledge of a subject, problem, process, or situation

When working with speakers I’ll ask them to think about what their audience will understand differently after hearing their talk. And there’s not a single answer to that question, as each person will have a different mindset before your talk begins.

And while it’s impossible to know what everyone listening understands in the moment, it’s a productive exercise to at least define a number of general categories (half a dozen or so) and then write out how you see their thinking/understanding transform.

For example, “Most people have no idea how big the refugee crisis really is, but after hearing my talk they will understand that nearly 1 in 100 people around the world has been displaced from their home.” [Watch Brian Sokol’s TEDx Talk]

Take that view a level deeper as you think about your audience by age, income, gender, ethnicity, education. How would a native understand your talk differently than an immigrant? Or a college student, as compared to a politician or business leader?

This exercise will prove beneficial while editing your manuscript. Consider your choice of words, and how deep you take your explanation of the issue. Remember, it’s not about having the audience think like you, it’s about them thinking differently than before they heard your talk.

Article written by Mark Lovett – Copyright Storytelling with Impact – All rights reserved

 

The Secret that Almost Killed Me – Kirsten Johnson at TEDxSDSU

Students that enroll in my Storytelling with Impact course at UC San Diego Extension are generally looking to improve their storytelling and public speaking skills, but one of my students had been accepted to speak at TEDxSDSU 2018 (held at San Diego State University) and she had a specific goal in mind – crafting a narrative for her upcoming TEDx Talk.

Right up my alley, I thought, as my work with TEDxSanDiego and TEDxDonovanCorrectional involves coaching speakers for the TEDx stage, and other clients have given TEDx Talks.

But this was special, as Kirsten wanted to discuss a personal issue that is never easy in front of an audience – her experience with sexual assault, and the resulting trauma that negatively affected her life for years – all the more important as she was speaking on a college campus.

As she worked through each draft of her talk and rehearsed in class, the discussions varied between “how much to tell” and “which narrative to use”. To her credit, Kirsten wasn’t afraid to experiment, to see what felt right, and to revise accordingly. Not saying enough could come off as lacking in depth, glossing over important topics, while providing too much detail could turn off an audience. This is the reality of delivering a talk with an emotional core.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure which version of her talk would end up on the TEDxSDSU stage, as she was still revising after our class had ended, but I was pleased to see how she presented this difficult subject – with heartfelt passion and resolve – to an audience that needed to hear about her experience and the lessons she learned along the way.

Kirsten Johnson is a life coach, YouTuber and author of the upcoming book Elephant. Johnson makes videos on anxiety, addiction, shame, spirituality and living your life purpose. She is also the creator of The Elephant Heard, an online community composed of people rising up to their full potential after the trauma of childhood sexual abuse.

Kristen is passionate about teaching people how to transform their relationship with fear so that they can live an empowered life.

Article written by Mark Lovett – Copyright Storytelling with Impact – All rights reserved

 

Speaker Adventure – June 2017

Was this the coolest and craziest Speaker Adventure ever? Well, that’s certainly what it felt like at the conclusion of June’s retreat held on the 3rd and 4th. With Sonia taking us on a journey to aboriginal rain forests of Peru, making her case that indigenous peoples are the keepers of 80% of the earth’s healthy ecosystems, yet don’t have a seat at the table when critical economic and environmental decisions are made. She convinced us that the earth’s future hangs in the balance.

Speaker Adventure Graduates June 2017 Cool

Mark’s bravery and vulnerability were at play as he recounted his own struggle to create a peaceful world in which to live, encouraging us to take a step back whenever the potential for anger was present. For those faced with disruption, or the possibility of encountering it in the future, John reminded us all that trust is something that can’t be outsourced, or replaced by artificial intelligence, and it forms the foundation of important relationships which survive disruption.

Speaker Adventure Graduates June 2017 Crazy

We all deal with decisions and attitudes on a daily basis, but have you ever considered the power of examining both at the same time? That’s the secret Jerry has used throughout his career and in his personal life. What saved Jenny from an abusive childhood and led her to a life of joy and happiness? Music. And she’s now on a mission to spread the word that music can have profound, and positive, effects on the lives of children. Aaron realized that his ‘fast and free life’ wasn’t sustainable, and once he made the decision to change, he came to see and experience the evolution from half-hearted, to committed, and ultimately to devotion. His life has never been richer!

Be a part of our next adventure!

Speaker Adventure

Article written by Mark Lovett – Copyright Storytelling with Impact – All rights reserved

 

Lisa Hisha’s Journey from Speaker Adventure to TEDxNewBedford

Some people come to Speaker Adventure in order to develop their skills in hopes of one day being on a TEDx stage. They’re not currently a public speaker, but have the desire to share their wisdom with others and know that crafting a compelling story takes a lot of effort.

Other participants are accomplished speakers who have been in front of a wide variety of audiences, from keynotes to technical conferences, but want to master the shorter format TED/TEDx style of presentation, and they come to Speaker Adventure to learn the ropes of just how that’s done.

On occasion, one of these accomplished speakers has already been invited to speak at a TEDx event and seeks out Speaker Adventure to fine tune their talk. This was the case with Lisa Haisha. Having mastered speaking in business environments, keynote stages, and motivational speaking venues, Lisa was a pro who was about to speak at TEDxNewBedford.

Lisa Haisha at TEDxNewBedford 2016

With idea and draft script in hand, Jeff Salz and I began working with Lisa to refine her narrative and ensure the transitions kept the story flowing smoothly for the audience.

The idea itself was rather compelling, that we’re too often subject to the whims of inner imposters that seek to sabotage our best efforts. But according to Lisa, we have the ability to train these imposters to work for us, instead of against us. How, you may ask? Watch and learn.

Lisa Haisha’s Website

Lisa Haisha on Facebook

Lisa Haisha on Twitter

Article written by Mark Lovett – Copyright Storytelling with Impact – All rights reserved

 

Exploring the Mehrabian Myth

Every profession as its own set of rules, instructions and standards. As you might expect, these guidelines will vary, sometimes widely, as every individual has their own take on what works best, but in general, they adhere to generally accepted guidelines. On occasion, however, a convention will appear that is egregious false, yet becomes something of a meme and is widely disseminated.

The notion that words don’t matter, or more accurately, that they matter very little when compared to our facial expressions, or the sound of our voice, constitutes one such myth. As often happens, the myth was derived from scientific research, but simply misinterpreted, or misstated, and the resulting meme that is spread far and wide bares little resemblance to the intent of the original research publication. In short, a mangled version of the truth, somehow becomes the truth.

Sometimes this myth is referred to as the 7%-38%-55% Rule, while in other situations it’s offered up as a claim that states “93% of all communication is non-verbal”. In either case it’s 100% bullshit, but let’s dive into the numbers, and the source of the information which became the myth.

We’ll time travel back to 1967, when Dr. Albert Mehrabian, Professor of Psychology at UCLA, conducted a study that examined how people reacted when they heard words that did not match the tone of the speakers voice, like saying, “Of course I love you honey.”, but in a sarcastic tone that clearly indicated you were mad. In these cases, when the tone was out of alignment with the words, the tone of voice was perceived to be more powerful.

Dr. Albert MehrabianIn a 2nd study, Dr. Mehrabian compared vocal elements with a speaker’s facial expressions, and found that facial elements were more powerful than vocal elements. Face trumps Tone. By combining these studies he came up with the following summary:

  • 55% is what the audience sees – it’s your body language
  • 38% is what the audience hears – the tone of your voice
  • 7% is what you actually say – the words within your talk

To get a visual synopsis of the issue, take a moment to watch this video from CreativityWorks.

“The non-verbal elements are particularly important for communicating feelings and attitude, especially when they are incongruent: if words and body language disagree, one tends to believe the body language.”
– Dr. Albert Mehrabian

In 2009 BBC reporter Tim Harford asked Dr. Mehrabian
if 93% of communication was non-verbal:

“Absolutely not, and whenever I hear that misquote or misrepresentation of my findings I cringe because it should be so obvious to anybody who would use any amount of common sense that that’s not the correct statement.”

The point being, his studies were never intended to examine the relative importance of words, tone or expressions within the context of our conversations, much less public speaking and storytelling from the stage, yet the myth was created and continues to thrive like a classic urban legend.

“There’s just no question that you cannot extrapolate my findings to communication in general.” – Dr. Albert Mehrabian

You can think about it this way. If you really think that 97% of communication is non-verbal, then try describing the movie you just saw to your best friend – without using any words. Charades anyone?

Article written by Mark Lovett – Copyright Storytelling with Impact – All rights reserved