Mark Lovett

100% My Fault from the StoryCorps Podcast

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I’m thankful that I’ve never been in a life-threatening situation, but millions of people around the world have, and those who made it through the experience have riveting stories to tell.

In this case, it wasn’t just a single person in danger; it was two friends. And that means there are two story lines, two unique narratives. So in this episode of the StoryCorps Podcast we hear a recount of events as they unfolded, as well as a reunion of sorts where their innermost feelings are finally shared.

In addition to Alex Lewis and Matt Koch — the pair of storytellers who were up on the mountain — Michael Garofalo, StoryCorps chief content officer, also narrated this story. It’s an interesting format where the two main characters take turns telling their story, with the narrator jumping in to carry the plot along. It’s why I’ve included the transcript. Listen to the episode, then give the transcript a read. While you hear distinct voices on the audio, the script reads much more fluid, allowing you to appreciate out the episode was put together.

It’s also worth noting that a full recounting of this story could take hours, yet this version comes in under 15 minutes. Try to imagine what was cut out, and think about what was left in. As you craft your own story — life-threatening or not — consider all that could be in your story, and which elements tell the most impactful story in a limited time frame.

Transcript

Michael Garofalo (MG): In December 2016… longtime friends Alex Lewis and Matt Koch hiked into a mountain pass in Colorado for a backcountry ski trip. This wasn’t a casual thing— they would be in the mountains for days… miles away from the nearest town.

Alex Lewis:  We got to the trailhead and it was snowing fairly constantly and a decent wind. We had the feeling of feeling small because you’re in these big mountains, but you couldn’t even really see much of them because of the snow.

MG: Alex and Matt were pretty serious outdoorsy guys… and this is exactly the kind of adventure that their friendship was built on… camping… hiking… But they hadn’t been able to do anything like that in a while.

The year before… Matt had been diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma. After a difficult year of treatments, Matt was declared cancer-free. And what better way to celebrate than a backcountry ski trip with his buddy…

Matt Koch:  This trip was kind of a opportunity for me to prove to myself that I could do things that required a physical fitness level I thought maybe I’d never have if I was a cancer survivor.

This was my message to the universe of like, you didn’t get me. I’m still here.

And then… things unravel.

MG: Matt and Alex had never really talked about what happened in that mountain pass… until now. I’m Michael Garofalo. It’s the StoryCorps Podcast from NPR.

MG: Matt and Alex were headed towards a ski hut… which would be their home base for the weekend. It was nothing fancy, just bare bones – think hostel, not hotel – but there was a staff, heat, they’d get two meals a day, and beds for the night. And the only way Matt and Alex could get there was by skiing 3 miles UPHILL through a steep, snowy mountain pass.

Matt Koch: I think as we were hiking, Alex, I was becoming aware that I was not physically prepared for this; I wasn’t where I should be. Every step my pack just felt heavier and heavier.

Alex Lewis: The first time that I had some concerns, you said something to the effect of, ‘Well, I dumped out my water because I felt like it was too heavy.’ I was like, oh man, we need that water.

Matt Koch: You had stopped and said, like, ‘Give me your pack. I’ll carry it for you.’ And I, I kind of remember being a tough guy and saying, ‘No, no, no, I got it. I got it.’

Alex Lewis: It was starting to become nightfall, and the wind was picking up, and the snow was picking up.

Matt Koch: The discussion was, you know, we’re, we’re further in than we are out and we just needed to let this storm go through.

Alex Lewis: And we decided the best course of action was to go off into the trees and build a snow pit where we could stay for the night.

MG: Matt and Alex started burrowing into the snow with their hands… to make a shelter where they could stay the night.

Matt Koch: Couldn’t have been more than a big dog bed size. It was pretty tiny.

Alex Lewis: We crammed as close together as possible to stay warm. And one of the things I remember overnight is hearing the howling wind.

Matt Koch: Yeah, the wind was just relentless.

Alex Lewis: It’s a little scary to wake up in the middle of the night to see the makeshift shelter that you’re sleeping in starting to fall apart and deteriorate.

Matt Koch: God, it was just cold, and, bundled up inside of my coat and couldn’t get comfortable. The situation was bad.

MG: They woke up the next morning happy to still be alive… and they could see the ski hut by that point. There wasn’t much farther to go.

Alex Lewis: The weather was continuing to get worse and extremely snowy and windy there. Our progress was pretty slow, because of the steep terrain and fresh snow. And I just remember taking this step, and, all of a sudden, hearing kind of, this rushing water sound.

Alex Lewis: And being knocked off my feet onto my hip and starting to slide. And I realized that I had triggered an avalanche right underneath me.

And I slide about a hundred feet and see these trees that are in my path. I was able to pin my skis to the trees and let the avalanche slide right past me, and continuing on down the mountain as I stood there in disbelief.

And I recall, yelling out ‘Avalanche, avalanche’, so that you could at least hear my voice and know where I was.

MG: Alex looked around for Matt… who was okay. But he also realized that with these conditions… it was too dangerous to keep going.

Alex Lewis: I remember taking a deep breath and realizing that this was the, the final straw. We weren’t going to make it to the hut. It was time for us to head down the mountain.

MG: But by this point… Matt was struggling to go anywhere.

Matt Koch: Every footstep hurt. And what little I had left in my batteries drained. I sat down and I just quit, and I don’t think you could move me if you wanted to.

Alex Lewis: I remember saying something like, ‘You didn’t let cancer kill you. You can’t stop here. You can’t quit now.’

Matt Koch: But I was resigned. I just had nothing left.

Alex Lewis: We had a, a really hard conversation around what to do. Then I took off. And I…it was extremely hard to leave you, but I also didn’t think we had another option. I needed to continue down the hill to get help.

MG: While Matt huddled alone in the cold and snow, Alex skied down the mountain pass… trying to get reception on his phone.

Alex Lewis: I got down the trail, was almost back to the car, and I got through to the sheriff. And he said, you know, ‘The avalanche dangers and risk are so high, I can’t send in three search and rescue team members to potentially save one knowing that I might lose all of them. If we can’t respond, what’s your backup plan?’

MG: Calling the sheriff HAD been the backup plan… and now it seemed like Matt was truly stranded.

Alex Lewis: When you were up there, after I left you, did you think you were going to die?

Matt Koch:  I don’t, I don’t ever remember thinking about dying. I just, I kept thinking about you. I kept thinking about if you were ok.

I think I was pretty delirious, being hypothermic. It was like being drunk. I started realizing how thirsty I was. I knew that if I would eat snow, it would lower my core temperature. I had one little guy on one shoulder telling me not to, and another guy on the other telling me, “But you’re so thirsty.” I kind of negotiated with myself that I could have just a little bit like, you know, help is on the way.

MG: For six hours, Matt didn’t move from the spot where Alex had left him… until finally a rescue team was able to get there.

Matt Koch: I was apologetic. I, I was so weak and demoralized and just frustrated and angry with myself for allowing this to happen. I just completely did not respect mother nature and her power.

I don’t remember pain of any sort, but my hands were definitely purple. I couldn’t really use them, they were so stiff. The toes were just frozen solid.

A helicopter came and got me. And when I got to the hospital in Denver, just kind of being a joker, I looked at the doctor and I said, ‘How bad on the fucked-ometer am I?’ And he goes, and ‘You’re nine out of 10, man. I don’t know if you’re gonna keep your fingers.’ I wasn’t ready for that.

MG: Coming up… when you’ve left your friend alone… knowing he might die without you… what do you say to each other after that?

Alex Lewis:  I was apprehensive about visiting you in the hospital because I wasn’t sure what would happen to our friendship.

MG: Matt spent several days at the hospital being treated for severe frostbite. It was so bad they had to put him in the burn unit. And all those days lying there in bed… unable to use his arms or legs… Matt had nothing but time to think about how he had gotten there.

Matt Koch: It ended up becoming kind of a slap in the face that, because I had cancer, I wasn’t physically ready for this trip. This was my fault, and it could have been avoided. Everybody was putting themselves in danger to save me, and they didn’t have to.

MG: Matt had plenty of visitors… his family was there with him… but the visitor he was most anxious to see… was Alex.

Matt Koch: What did you feel when you saw me?

Alex Lewis: I was nervous to go to the hospital, and I remember coming into the hospital and you’re kind of sitting there, wrapped up kind of like a mummy in multiple layers of bandages.

Matt Koch:  I think my mom was in the room and I asked her to leave so I could thank you. I don’t know if it was shame or embarrassment, but, um, I was thankful. I was glad to see you were ok. I was sad that I, uh, put you in that spot. I would never want for somebody to get hurt because of my actions, and that’s exactly what almost happened, um…

Do you harbor any anger towards me because of this?

Alex Lewis: No.  I helped get us in that position where we needed to do something to save your life. Plenty of things happened that day that were my fault. And so I was concerned you would feel that I was responsible for what had happened.

Matt Koch: I, I had no idea that you felt any level of guilt. I’m sorry that we’ve never had this conversation until now. This was 100 percent my fault. I knew the risks, and I wasn’t fit enough to be in the backcountry. You did everything within your power. I hope you know that. You did everything right. You rescued me, you saved my life.

Alex Lewis:  Yeah, and I think – you know, I appreciate you saying it because it does paint it in a different light. We had never really discussed it and kind of, always danced around it, but coming from you, it means the world to me.

Matt Koch:  Yeah. Well, I think the accident and cancer shifted my perspective because I’ve been a lot closer to death than many others. It’s made me realize what’s important to me. And I’m so thankful that we’re friends, because if I didn’t have you, I would be dead right now.

Alex Lewis: It’s what I would have done anyway for you and for our friendship.

Matt Koch: Well, I know I feel it now, and I think I felt it then, that I’m thankful to have you in my life. Not just because of this incident, but, no matter where I go, if I need you I know you’ll be there.

MG: It’s been almost a decade since that trip… and every year now, on the anniversary, Matt calls Alex to thank him for saving his life.

Matt’s injuries ended up being much less severe than they could have been. He kept his fingers… although he does have lasting nerve damage.

Today he lives on a boat in Florida… so he never has to feel cold again.

MG: We love it when you leave us voicemails… and this week we’d like to know: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for a friend? Tell us about it in a message at 702-706-TALK. That’s 702-706-T-A-L-K.

This episode was produced by Max Jungreis. Jud Esty-Kendall is our Senior Producer. Our Technical Director is Jarrett Floyd. And our Executive Producer is Amy Drozdowska. The art for this episode was created by Liz McCarty.

I’m Michael Garofalo. Thanks for listening.

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Mark Lovett

Crazy Bet by Nate DiMeo @ The Memory Palace

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Long time readers of this blog already know that one of my favorite storytelling podcasts is The Memory Palace, hosted by Nate DiMeo. And the exciting news is that Nate’s new book was recently released. No surprise that the book’s title is: The Memory Palace – True Short Stories of the Past (Kindle, Hardcover). I know many of you are going digital these days, but the book cover is so beautiful I’m recommending people spend a few extra bucks for an edition they can hold.

While avid listeners won’t need an explanation, those of you who are unfamiliar with Nate’s podcast could use a primer as this is an unusual style of storytelling. Not only is the narrator (Nate) not part of the story, but each episode magically condenses what could be a rather long recitation (we’re talking hours here) of someone’s life story into a few brief minutes — a thread, if you will, that leads listeners on a journey of how the person at the center of the story came to be, and how they changed the course of history. While it differs from the type of personal storytelling I typically focus on, Nate’s ability to distill people, places, and events into a compact narrative is a valuable skill we can all utilize when crafting our own story. Pay special attention to the visual nature of his prose.

The Memory Palace Book by Nate DiMeo

So many stories stood out for me — expect a few more posts down the road — so it was hard to pick one to feature, but as I have a thing for historical spycraft (you probably didn’t know that about me) I found one episode of great interest. Spies are characters in every war, but I had never hear of Elizabeth Van Lew, so was unaware of the role she played in aiding the Union during the Civil War.

This chapter in the book spans a bit over three pages, which doesn’t sound like much space for a story, but Nate paints a compelling picture of her personality and active contribution. Elizabeth, or Crazy Bet, as the title informs us, lived in Richmond, Virginia, which became the capital of the Confederacy in spring 1861. People often said she was an odd duck, which I took to be an apt description of her basic nature, but to some extent she would exaggerate her mannerisms in order to deflect suspicion from her real mission.

And when she was twenty-five and her father died, this stange, willful woman did something that confirmed to all of Richmond society that se was indeed nuts. She freed her slaves.

Soon after the start of the war she began visiting Union POWs at Libby Prison, bringing cakes and bread and meat wrapped in cloth, and books and Bibles. Toward the end of the war, when the capital was falling, Elizabeth raised an American flag atop her house. Angry residents attempted to burn her house down, but Crazy Bet didn’t back down and forced the crowd to retreat.

There’s so much more to her story, including the fact that after Richmond fell, General Ulysses S, Grant stopped by for tea and recognized the part she played in helping win the war. As is his style, Nate provides just enough detail, allowing us to visualize Elizabeth and her visits to prison. It’s the kind of storytelling that inspires us to ask, “What else did she do during the war, and during her life?”

That’s the ideal balance to aim for when creating personal stories. Enough detail to make your point, and at the same time, inspire a sense of curiosity, to provide an invitation for listeners / readers to explore the topic further.

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Mark Lovett

Telling Stories About Storytelling

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Most of my time is spent working with clients, helping them craft and deliver impactful talks, but once in a while I have the opportunity to hang out with a master storyteller and have an in-depth conversation on the art of storytelling. Such was the case when I was a guest on the Speak Like a Leader podcast, hosted by John Bates, the founder of Executive Speaking Success.

I met John back in my TEDx days, when I was organizing TEDxSanDiego and he was at the helm of TEDxSantaMonica, and our first conversation centered on what makes a good story. We’ve stayed connected over the years and still share a common passion for helping others uncover and tell their personal stories.

Mark Lovett on Speaker Like a Leader Podcast

[listen to the entire podcast here or listen to an excerpt below]

Behind the scenes at a TEDx event

We started out talking about the TEDx world from the viewpoint of a TEDx organizer, and I shared the advice that I give to everyone who wants to be on a TED or TEDx stage – that your story should be based on your passion, on a topic that you’re speaking about or writing about on other platforms. The more you’re doing that, the more likely that an organizer will come across your work and think of you as a thought leader on the topic. John’s brilliant insight was that everyone should be living a TED-worthy life. Which is to say, you should be making a difference in the world regardless of whether you get on a TEDx stage.

Mark Lovett as quoted on the Speak Like a Leader podcast #1

What’s unique about you?

We also got into the nuts and bolts of storytelling, and the importance of your unique voice, your view of the world, and the way that can shift perspectives of people in the audience, teach them something, or expand their horizons. With the best TED and TEDx talks, I always think and feel a bit different after the talk concludes. What do listeners think and feel about your topic beforehand, and then after your talk? If there was no difference, then your talk had no impact.

Mark Lovett as quoted on the Speak Like a Leader podcast #2

We also addressed the issue of preparation, as this is one of the most frequently asked questions from potential speakers. How to get ready for the stage. You’ll hear many different opinions on the topic of memorizing, from those who believe in it, to those who avoid it. In working with hundreds of clients over the years, John and I have come to realize that each speaker is unique, and they need to figure out what works best for them.

Regardless of method, the key thing is to rehearse, and rehearse, and rehearse. You need to become very familiar with the points that you want to make during your talk. And a great way to do that is by rehearsing in front of friends or family who will give you honest feedback. Then go back and edit, and rehearse again.

There’s so much more that we covered during our hour together, and it was such an honor to spend time talking to John Bates about the magic of storytelling. So give this episode a listen, and then subscribe to the podcast to hear John interview a wide range of subject matter experts.

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Mark Lovett

The Challenges of Story Compression

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One of the most difficult challenges every storyteller faces is how to compress days / months / years / centuries when crafting a narrative. For example, the Roman Empire lasted some 500 years, yet books on the topic are typically under 500 pages, which illustrates how many facts the authors had to cut. Even when the subject is as narrow as the life of one person, such as Julius Caesar, that same page count only allows for the highlights. Volumes of data are left behind.

So imagine the difficulty in reducing an entire life – and in this case it’s quite an illustrious life – into a twenty minute podcast. Could you compress your life into twenty minutes? Rather frustrating for most folks. But such is the mastery of Nate DiMeo, founder of The Memory Palace, with his insightful story about Robert Smalls. You might call The Wheel a master class in story compression.

This excerpt from Wikipedia will give you some indication of Robert Smalls’ life, though it’s just one chapter of a saga that’s hard to fathom. Listen to Nate’s narrative and you’ll gain a much better sense of Robert’s keen ability to plan and execute. The other thing you will notice is the difference between information – as provided by Wikipedia – and narrative nonfiction – as spoken by Nate DiMeo.

Robert Smalls (April 5, 1839 – February 23, 1915) was an American politician, publisher, businessman, and naval pilot. Born into slavery in Beaufort, South Carolina, he freed himself, his crew, and their families during the American Civil War by commandeering a Confederate transport ship, CSS Planter, in Charleston harbor, on May 13, 1862, and sailing it from Confederate-controlled waters of the harbor to the U.S. blockade that surrounded it. He then piloted the ship to the Union-controlled enclave in Beaufort-Port Royal-Hilton Head area, where it became a Union warship. His example and persuasion helped convince President Abraham Lincoln to accept African-American soldiers into the Union Army.

Even without personal knowledge of the area, and few details of the historical moment, you can still imagine the scene of a blockade off the coast, of Robert’s desire to escape slavery in The South, and the impossible notion of stealing a Confederate boat in order to make his escape. There is the briefest mention of his mother, his wife and two daughters, yet you clearly see the stakes involved in his decision to take that boat, to risk it all.

With the visual references to slaves being bought and sold, to being whipped in the fields, you come to embrace the motivation, despite the stakes, to take that boat, to take the wheel, at the age of 23. The escape took hours, but in just a few seconds Nate takes us onboard the Confederate gunboat CSS Planter, where we feel the tension, the odds stacked against success.

I’ll leave it to you to hear the story to its conclusion. To marvel at the fact that his heroic exit from South Carolina wasn’t the end of the story. How he served in the Union Navy.  How he returned to Beaufort after the war, became a politician and served in both the South Carolina State legislature and the United States House of Representatives.

By the story’s conclusion I felt as though I had been listening for hours, while being taken on a magnificent journey of one man’s incredible life. But when I checked the clock, only twenty minutes had passed. Story compression is a time warp, an experience that doesn’t leave you feeling short-changed.

If you have a desire to tell your life story – on a podcast or on a stage – if only to cover the highlights, yet feel that the challenge of compressing your story to a reasonable length is next to impossible, revisit this podcast. In fact, do yourself a favor and subscribe to The Memory Palace. Every episode is a master class in how to captivate an audience and reveal the essence of what it means to be human, and do so in a matter of minutes.

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Mark Lovett

The Creative Penn Podcast Episode 500

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Storytelling takes many forms, and while my focus, for the most part, supports individuals telling their story verbally, writing your story is another avenue for generating impact based on your ideas, lessons learned, and life experiences. In fact, a number of my clients have turned their attention to the spoken version of their story after having published a book.

The Creative Penn Podcast

As with speaking, learning the art and craft of written storytelling takes time, and is based in large part on seeking the wisdom of others who have made the same journey. If writing is your current profession, or simply a future goal, then The Creative Penn Podcast should be in your toolbox.

Joanna Penn is the host, and after 11 years she released her 500th episode. A milestone that few podcasters reach!

You’ll need to hear the entire podcast to discover the many pearls of wisdom that she offers from past episodes, but I wanted to share a few of them here.

Write What You Love

Are you writing what others think you should write, or what you feel the market wants? Maybe you feel that your talents are limited to only one genre, or either fiction or non-fiction. Joanna was stuck in that box until she tried her hand at writing fiction books and now has 18 novels to her credit. Don’t let the challenge of exploring new styles of storytelling hold you back.

It’s Okay If Your First Draft Sucks

Taking this idea further, it is extremely rare (like one in a million) that a first draft is the best you can do. This applies to writing books, articles, or your personal story. When Joanna interviewed Mur Lafferty, the point was made that if we can recognize this fact, and stop worrying about it, great writing is possible.

And I think, when people allow themselves to just write the story and not worry about what’s going to happen to the story afterward, that’s when they really let themselves actually improve. It’s like when they’re thinking about it too much, they hold themselves back or they put some sort of handicap on themselves. But when they just write and not worry about sucking or worrying about how good it is or where it’s gonna be published, then better things happen. ~Mur Lafferty

Realizing that you could write something terrible and then fix it up later with editing freed me from so much. My first drafts are a lot better now, but we all have to go through those first few books where we don’t know what we’re doing! ~Joanna Penn

Leverage Your Intellectual Property

Too often writers will publish their book, either through a traditional publishing house or independently, then they’ll move on to the next project. But there are international rights, audio book rights, movies, even gaming rights to consider.

It’s a subject writers need to spend time exploring, and hire a professional when there are contract related questions. Bottom line, don’t sign anything unless you fully understand what you’re signing up for.

I think authors, indies, have not given enough thought to rights. Taking a publishing rights perspective on your work is the missing link for the indie author and it’s really important to trade publishing. ~Orna Ross

I know the worth of my intellectual property assets, they are the basis of my business — as well as my art. If you understand this, you are an empowered writer! ~Joanna Penn

Develop Your Personal Brand

The concept of having a personal brand was once reserved for those who “made it” in the publishing world, who made the best seller lists and were interviewed on all the talk shows. But in the digital world, with podcasting, Instagram, email marketing and video channels, anyone can get their brand in front of thousands – and on a daily basis if so desired. How do people see you? What’s your brand?

Turning Pro

Some folks are happy being a part time writer and publishing once in a while, making some spending money on the side. But if your goal is to make a living by telling stories – and this applies equally to a writing career or a speaking career – then you should go all in and understand what it means, what it takes to go pro.

When I was trying to learn to be a writer and was falling on my face over and over and over, the reason I decided finally was that I was an amateur. I had amateur habits and I thought like an amateur and what turned the corner for me was just a simple sort of turning a switch where I just decided, I’m going to turn pro. I’m going to think like a pro.

Courage plays a lot. It takes a lot of guts to do this. Patience is also very important, to be patient with ourselves, allow ourselves to fall off the wagon sometimes. Taking the long view is another aspect of it. ~Steven Pressfield

Publishing is like a roller coaster, it’s up and down and up and down. It’s similar to the music industry. If you have one hit, don’t assume that your next one’s going to be a hit. So when you do have money, you need to save well, invest it, prepare for times when it’s going to be a crash, and just don’t think that it’s going to keep going. ~Kevin J Anderson

There’s so much more content in this 500th episode of The Creative Penn, so do give it a listen, and if you’re a writer (professional or aspiring), subscribe to the podcast. You can thank me later. Every episode is a deep dive into the world of writing, publishing, and most importantly, storytelling.

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